Quid Pro Quo - Hey it is good to be selfish

Read the blog with a pinch of salt. I have managed to stay confused. I start with a certain issue and have not really done justice in finding an answer as I don’t know. People do reply incase you have one.

When you like someone do you do something for them expecting a return? Do you expect them to like u as much as you do?

Can there be selfless people?

Is doing something good to someone always associated with a return in mind?

I think these questions have been there in my mind for a couple of days now.

It is tough in being selfish than being selfless. I happen to say this as there is less and less acts that can be called selfless.

It was couple of months back that we had this usual discussion in our room. I then believed that there can be certain things that can be selfless. You are climbing the staircase and in the last second of placing your foot you see an ant. You stumble to save the ant by not stepping on it. All these things might have happened in a fraction of a second. Though your mind manipulates a million things in a nano second you would have not thought of this act of compassion. You would have not thought whether you have made a difference by saving a life but you still happen to do it.
This one argument gave me a reason to believe that there can be things that can be done without any return expected.

The next day I had a discussion with Senthil. This guy I think one of the best I have seen for quiet sometime with his radical views. When I asked him if there could be a selfless act he said a clear “NO”.
He said “Anything that man does, how ever sacred it might be is to satisfy some need of his. Take a case of an act of charity. A person does it to satisfy his values.”
I was satisfied with what he said.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about people around me. I have been thinking about who it would be if I had to share something great that has happened. I have been thinking who it would be if I was searching for a shoulder for support.

Orcutting is happening in a big way in our School. There is one place where you rate your friends. This is what made me think about who my real close friends were? And who all I liked? I did mark in a few contacts that I was their fan. A privilege given to a limited few. Thinking why I did this I thought there are different kinds of people:

1. Whom you would like from the outset you had met them. This is for no reasons.
2. There are others whom you don’t like from the first time you saw them, again for no reason ( I called them “the insects” someone felt it was funny calling them this way)
3. There are others you get to know slowly and them you start liking them.
I don’t have the fourth kind where you get to hate someone slowly.

So I did mark a couple of fans in Orcut based on the classification made. There are this 1st kind of people and the 3rd kind of people whom I admire. Also there are people whom it is difficult to classify between the first and the third type.

People have always accused me of digging deep and finding meaning between words. I really feel it is a sin which I repeatedly commit or otherwise I guess there would been no entry in this blog.

Now that I find a good rosy picture of having so many people around me, whom I can rely I start thinking on the next level. I start to think what is that bond on which such a relation or liking that has flourished?
I think I have an answer to this from one of the comments to my earlier blog. It was from my brother’s friend though written in different context it applies to any good relation.

Anu Vijay said...

Love is something that you feel from the bottom of your heart when the time comes along. I know this sounds like a Cliché, but it's true. It is not something that can be explained to someone. It will be the greatest thing that you've ever experienced, and then some. Like you said, looks definitely do help, but ofcourse beyond looks, or any other superficial qualities, the two most important things that count the most in a life partner are an understanding nature and being able to talk to them about anything and everything under the sun without the fear of being judged. Above all, you should be able to have fun with that person and enjoy life. Anyway, you'll understand when the time comes... Believe me!!!

I think it is important in any relation to have the two qualities mentioned. This is what they call the moral fiber that binds any relation. I liked the comment so much and especially the highlighted two lines

the two most important things that count the most in a life partner are an understanding nature and being able to talk to them about anything and everything under the sun without the fear of being judged.

I started with saying there are very less and less things that we do that are selfless but with people you love, with people you like are you being selfless?Still a question mark? …. what do you say if in being selfish you happen to do something good to others? I say it is good to be SELFISH