Not everything is Right about India but we have Some Positive Civilisational Values

We have had some worst times last couple of years in our country. Lives have been lost, properties damaged and families disintegrated. Natural calamity and destruction is not only for India. The force of nature doesn't see if it is a developed country or developing, western union or Saarc. It just plays havoc. When nature's fury is common to all of us in this world what is different? What is special when it comes to India?

Aftermath of Tsunami we have seen so many people rushing to help far and wide of India and yeah some great souls far away from even India. The response of people who live kilometers away from the shore to reach out and help has been tremendous.

When I traveled to Nagapattanam among our group of 14 people only two people were working. The other 12 were students. There were 4 students from Erode. They had come to Chennai after hearing about the vast destruction. They traveled all the way to join the efforts to help the needy and those affected by the monster wave.

Even as we reached Nagappatanam we saw a lot groups which had turned out with food clothes and medicines. We saw heaps of cloths on the sides of the roads. So many of them in their zeal to help had brought too many of those cloths.

This is in sharp contrast with what happened in some other part of the world which claims to be on top of the modern civilisation. There were riots in place of relief. The government which rules the world responded so late to its own citizens.
true reasons why these things happened won`t be known!!! Racism?? Lack of proper Administration system??
In India we had come to know about Tsunami only after it struck but they had the news of the disaster even couple of days before it hit the place.

Words of our president-"Perhaps not everything is right with India, but it has some positive civilisational values. I think this is one of them — our ability to come to the help of those afflicted."

Yes Focus needs to be on what is being done for those affected by Tsunami and the earthquake in Jammu Kashmir. But also shouldn't we talk of the way our people have come forward to help each other. Not only did we stop with helping our own people but we offered help to Srilanka and Indonesia after tsunami . We opened five points on our borders to Pakisthan for help after the earthquake
Critics may associate other reasons for doing so. Whatever be the reasons hinted I can see there is help rendered in some form.

Like what the President had said we should be looking at these CIVILISATIONAL VALUES and should be strengthening them.

Last year this day- Satyam to Suyam

It was 26 December 2004. A day after Christmas. I thought Suresh should be around and I called him. We both then planned for a movie. I was about to pick him at 9.We had planned for a movie at 11 at Satyam.

Surprisingly that day I had got up at 7 which was early by my standards any day. Went to my neighboring unlce`s house to read the newspaper. Sabha my cousin asked me if I experienced a tremor at 6:30- 6 45. He said it was a earthquake and he felt a slight tremor. I have been called Kumbakarna at times for my amma found it so difficult to wake me up. I had not felt the tremor.

I picked up Suresh and reached Satyam. We just read from a tea shop that 15 people were killed near the beach as water entered land. We could make no sense of the news and went on to see the movie.
Both saw the film and were having our food at a hotel. Then we heard that around 200 people were dead in Chennai marina. Suresh asked me if we should go to marina to see the place flooded with water. But I felt if the news was true there would be utter chaos at the site. So we just turned back home.


Amma had the TV on as I entered home. There was some Cricket match that day but all of us were glued to BBC, NDTV, Headlines today in turns.

Not a moment lost in telling the world a calamity had stuck. I never realized that the slight tremor that I did`nt even realize in my sleep had taken toll to this extent. The death toll all around the world as I reached home was 15000 from 200 in Chennai. I followed the story till 3 next morning. Felt so restless and just decided I might try to volunteer for the relief effort.

Next day I left for Nagapattanam with Suyam.

One year since then. I had a test today. I had the urge to write a blog this morning. Just postponed it to the evening. I had gone to the library like I have been doing before every exam. I read a couple of articles on Tsunami.

There is this one about a girl in Akkaraipettai. She believes and keeps telling people that tsunami shall strike again. When people make her understand that there were scientific reasons to disprove her she just says "Where was the science when Tsunami had struck last time". Just shows mans inability when nature strikes.

Another article says" the next tsunami of this magnitude or even worse shall hit North West American coast. It shall hit the coast within 15 minutes of warning. Last years Tsunami took more than an hour to reach Indian coast and still we were helpless. It hit Andaman within 8 minutes of the earthquake. We had time but no information then. If only we knew that a giant wave was coming towards our coast(at Taminadu) thousands of lives would have been saved and hundreds of families would have celebrated christmas this year as they did last year. Bloody Information ..

How much can man do to avoid calamity?

This picture was taken by Arko Dutta. This picture won some international award among 65000 entries. He had taken the picture for Reuters. The subject of the award winning photo is Indira.

"My Anni (sister-in-law) Maheswari was my only moral support till those cruel waves killed her," Indira says.

It is Maheswari's hand that you see in the photo.
Indira and Maheswari had gone to the beach to buy fish for lunch.

"I saw the waves, ran to a coconut tree and clung on to it. I shouted 'Anni, Anni' till I almost drowned. I was almost naked when some people rescued me. But there was no sign of my Anni. The sari you see in the photo was given by some villagers."
Two days later (on December 28), neighbours told me that Anni's body had been found on the seashore. When I saw her body, bloated beyond recognition, I could only beat my chest and wail," she says.

After having exhausted the relief, Indira was forced to pawn her ornaments.

The collector at Nagapattanam is a wonderful administrator and nice human being. His effort has been so publicly known. There are organisations like Suyam that are trying to help people in their own way. And there are gritty survivors like Indira, Anand, Bhaskar, Arulmani and many more.. They just don`t give up.

some pictures...

At akkraipettai KOVIL"the temple". Food was served to the people affected for more than a month as they had no home, no utensils and no livelihood. They helped themselves by involving in the relief work. Nagapattanam people and the local administration were praised for their quick recovery. But still needs to be done.
















The boat you see is a broken boat. You see just the front portion and there is no tail which isn`t visible. This boat I was told costs Rs 25 lakh.












In the first picture is Bhaskar. The second picture me and Anand with the school Headmaster at Akkraipettai.


















Hope the smile finds more faces. This one photo gave this kid a smile on his face.

Let the smile last longer.

my earlier experience with people in Nagapattanam

AKKARAIPETTAI was the word I first heard from NDTV on a news report by Barkha Dutt on 26th Dec. After which this place was flashed on numerous dailies and talked over on various channels but I wondered why this place didn't see a private entity to help build their temporary shelters. May be this was because this place has close to 2000 families and on an average each family has 5-8 members. Government was building temprorary shelter but people said it was far from their village and it would be difficult for their rehabilitation in their village. They needed more and what was been done was a very little percentage of what could have been done.

This place Akkaraipettai had once 1800 boats or more. On an average a boat costs somewhere in between 15 to 25 lacks. Why talk of the boats alone, each of the boats had nets at least a couple or more (the nets costs from Rs.50000 to Rs.150000). This is supposedly the largest fishing hamlet in Tamilnadu. If each boat employs on an average 8 people (5 fisherman + people who sell these fish in the markets, other dependant) we are talking about close to 80000 people (8*6*1800 =people employed*average members in a family*number of boats) dependant on fishing in this village alone. It was said that only 3 of the 1800 boats were in a usable state after the Tsunami had hit.


The picture that you see are palm tree saplings planted in rememberance of the 400 odd children who died in the village of Keechankuppam. You can see the name board on each sapling indicating the name of the child.

There are people who are trying to reach out to these affected people. Help in kind, monetary funds and in person is reaching Suyam from far and wide of India and the world. But to these people who have lost everything as one of them says they have been pushed 50 years behind, what has reached them is very little.

A Fisherman’s life I realized was in general a tough one. We(volunteers and the local fishermen) would have a chat in between work or during our meal about how they would venture into the sea and talk of different things from their love life to their little fans club for various cine artists. The local volunteers working with us are of average age of 25.

On my first visit I would wonder how big all these fishermen families were!! A 7-9 member family is something that is common. As I talked I realized they could never be sure of the bread earner when he ventured into the sea. There were many such cases I personally encountered where the children would take up the fishing job when his father was dead or unable to go to the sea. I can remember this one case of Arulmani. He used to study well, top his class till fifth standard. He was even part of the Arivoli Iyakkam (A movement in Tamilnadu to spread the importance of education in rural places). As his father fell ill he and his brother had to discontinue their study to take up fishing. Now he is just 8th standard pass out and his brother has studied till 9th.

This is Bhaskar standing on the ruins of his house. There are other stories of brave young people who have survived and saved other lives. Bhaskar was one such guy who survived the Tsunami clinging to a palm tree. It was about 9 O’clock in the morning when he was talking to his friend that Tsuanmi had hit his village. He saw big boats being thrown into the wind.He would say it was like some thousand trucks rushing towards him. He saw few small kids who were playing cricket struggling to run. He just managed to catch two of the kids that the waves hit him. The two of the children clung to him and he said the waves were like a big roller taking everything on its way. He would then say that because of those two kids he survived as both of them caught him on front and dorsal side and took the hit when they rolled over with the wave. Bhaskar just managed to catch a palm tree that he found that he already lost one of the kids. As Bhaskar felt the body weight of the other kid clinging on to him from behind he tried to reach him and get him on the tree. By then the kid fell down and his body was taken by the wave that was retreating. As the waved retreated Bhaskar says he was almost over the half the palm trees height. After this frightening incident he still managed to save another guy who was badly injured.

The girl you see in the picture is JEEVIKA.

Among the tragic stories we also heared a couple of miracles. During a visit to the Tanjore Government Hospital we came across girl child "Jeevika". She is going to kindergarten school now. She was almost one girl who was making the entire ward of tsunami hit patients laugh and enjoy with her songs and dance. While she was singing and dancing for our camera little did we know that she was with her father playing on the beach sand when the Tsunami had hit. Her father was on a near-by bed taking treatment for his badly injured leg and stomach. He narrated how after the Tsunami wave he rescued his child lying on a thorn bush in an unconscious state. She was taken to Nagapattanam Government Hospital and the doctors warned that she would die soon. Jeevika giving her parents a torrid time worse than the tsunami lay unconscious for 5 days. Then her condition improved. Now she is hale and healthy. She is the only happiness to the parents who have lost everything. They still thank god for giving them back their JEEVIKA. I now think isn’t the name well suited to the child-"a child full of life"-jeevika

The world has been blessed with amazing people as well

The last blog I had written started with my complaints about people not appreciating my deep thoughts which is`nt correct always.

I would have not started to blog had there been no one to read and apprectiate. I think I was way too critical about people who asked me to be more cheerful.

My experience with blogging started after I started to work for SUYAM. I had read a lot of blogs before but never thought I would start writing one. After I was there in Nagapattanam after the Tsunami the experience left in me disturbing pictures of the tragedy. The number of days I spent with those fishermen I realised how tough their life was. And to add to their misery this tragedy happenned. I had to pour out what I felt and blog was one place I could put forth what I thought. So I wrote about those 10 days in my life and how from ordinary people they became heroes in their own right.

I can’t stop mentioning here a sarcastic comment from a fisherman folk who himself had his property damaged. He said, “ If the Tsunami had to hit another couple of times there would be little or no parity between the rich and poor along the coastline”

once I expressed my heart out and asked my freinds to read I had atleast a dozen of serious people who wanted to help. There are people everywhere who wanted to contribute and it is just that they needed an oppurtunity.
Rose foundation from belgium, came to help SUYAM to recontruct a school in akkraipettai through one of my freind from college.
There is another german company which came in with its ship container full of relief material.

We have people all aroung and the situation is`nt that bleak as I had complained in the first paragraph of the last blog.

Even for the last post there is this person though not agreeing with me said that the blog disturbed the persons sleep that night. If I have made people think with my writing I am getting somewhere.

I think therefore I am

There has been lot of issues that has bugged me. I always have had thought whether things that go around me are right or wrong. I have not been comfortable with a lot of things that happens around me. Very few friends of mine have been able to appreciate when I have some serious thoughts.

“Why do you always write something that is serious, why don’t write something humorous?”
“ Romba think pannadha, freeya vidu!!”
“Its just one life, take things easily……you need not reflect so much on things happening around you!!”

Can’t just blame people around me. After a point I myself thought I shouldn’t be contemplating too much. Then I meet a couple of people who also think like me. Encouraging ….then I get to read something that is disturbing. …the Manju Nathan’s case (Machaans)

I can really understand when his friends express so much of anguish and grief over his death. Have you ever felt proud shedding tears? I did. I was reading this one article by Meera Seth. It really moves me because I am able to put in her position when she talks of Machaan.

I was seeing a clipping on NDTV a year ago, a man getting hit by an electric train in Mumbai railway station. He falls down on the platform in a pool of blood. What does the crowd do? Avoid the man who had fallen down and just carry on with their work. So much of public apathy in our hearts!! How and when did we get to inculcate such an attitude of indifference towards fellow humans?
Shouldn’t we take time to reflect where we have gone wrong?

You’ll see a lot of my writing here similar to the article in business world by Meera Seth.

In every one of us there is a killer. The difference between us and the killer of Manju is that one has killed other hasn’t. I remember reading a quote yesterday “I trust everyone of you but for the devil inside you”.

Those questions that I have mentioned above are similar in a way to these phrases “life must go on” “Time is the best healer”.

The point is that may be time will heal the absence of Manju Nathan but not our callousness, our insensitivity. When we ask the question of why should we remember and reflect on something serious aren’t we living in a denial? We want all these things to get over soon and be in our own comfort zone.

I am happy being the serious guy. I can’t definitely do what Manju Nathan did. Nor do I have the guts to stand up against the system. But I think I can get sensitive to things and make at least a couple of people around me sensitive to things. When there are reports such as this in the media about crime, wars, earthquake or tsunami I shall definitely not be someone who just thinks “Yeh sab hota rehta hai”.


I was reading an article where the writer was differentiating the Indian attitude and the American attitude. This was an article after September 11 attack. As I read the article even I was as proud as the writer. He wrote that unlike the Americans who were making so many hue and cries we Indians after Bombay bomb blast took it in our stride. He went on saying how children in a couple of days were playing cricket near the bomb site.

After reading the article even I was convinced of our approach to life as best. But now I have a different thinking.
The magnitude of media attention that goes when an American soldier is shot in America is way above to what our media gives to soldiers being blown by naxals.

Anbesivam is a one of the favorite movie for many of us. The central idea is if your heart feels for others, shares others pain you have god residing inside you. Wouldn’t it be great if each one of us took responsibilities for the actions we do.



The scene in Tanjore hospitals after deadly tsunami had struck. I believe many of us can feel for this little child who was a victim to this disaster for no fault of hers.



I remember when I was leaving for Chennai after a short stay at Nagapattanam when I was with SUYAM, Bhaskar one of the local fishermen had come to see us off. He handed me a Cadbury chocolate. I could definitely see hope in his eyes. It’s not just money or a cheque of Rs.4000 that these victims of tsunami cherished. It was human concern for their lives that mattered to them. He is expecting things to change through all of us.

Life is valuable whether it is of Manju Nathan or a soldier in the border or a beggar on the street. On each of the cases we need to reflect why a life should be lost because of a crime or a war or of hunger.

I think and I want all of us to think collectively.


I just don`t want to end by just asking questions. Even if I made people think I have been only half successful. We need to do much more than just thinking. I know I am expecting a lot from all of us including myself.



This is Anand. He has a nice smile here on this picture. But things were`nt this smooth a fortnight back.
This brave guy lost his mother in the tsunami disaster. Even before the paramilitary troops that went for handling the situation in nagapattanam after 4 days of the disaster he gathered a group of young men from his village trying to find people and clean the village of the corpses. Once primary relief work was done he did`nt stop with that. He called up SUYAM and said" they were 15 young men from akkraipettai( the most affected village ) and they were ready to do anything for making their village a place to live as it was before."

Shouldn't we learn from the grit shown by this man who has seen the pain through his naked eyes on DEC 26th, felt agony with the loss of his mother but still ready to make a difference for a bigger cause.

ANAND won "seyal veerar" award (a bravery award) from TVS groups for his contribution. We need many more SEYAL VEERARS.

Love is Unconditional ? Heard of crush/love calculators?

The other day I was chatting with a freind about gaining clarity in lot of things.
We hear what we want to hear and we see what we want to see. Is there a clarity in what we want to see and hear.
Lets talk about what we know about relationship and what we know about love. I`ll give you my perspective.

Whenever I talk of love(between man and woman) I just don`t get to believe the age old belief of love coming naturally. Like many things in life when I hear the word I never can come to a conclusion. People call me a emotional being. So am I !! But why is there a machine like feeling when I start thinking of "love" seriously.

Is it just a word that was coined in past age to descibe SUPPOSED to be felt feeling of one human being for another ? People go through these feelings, make mistake and still are convinced to make the mistake again. May be being in love is not a mistake but thinking it all comes naturally is a mistake.

People believe it to be special. Something special is exclusive but the name "love" that exits is itself a testimony that its a pattern of feeling felt universally by everyone, particular way of being with someone. Is there anything distictive about it?

Love just happens!! can this be true ?
I think it is all calculated. You must be telling to yourself that it must be love and one fine morning the little doubt you have fades away... then you start telling to your freinds like Sameer( Saif Ali Khan ) in DCH how genuine your love is " it just happenned to me you know"

For sure I know that I need clarity in lot of aspects !!! One thing would be with the word "love"

Parenting....

Thinking what i have to do with parenting...its not me but i felt its a new experience to anyone who is having a child and I wanted to show how much my parents meant to me!!

Just the other day when I was leaving with Shankar my cousin for ANNIYAN a Tamil movie Shankar asked me " Where did you get the money for the tickets". The ticket for anniyan was costly(Rs.125 for one) than normal and for Shankar it was new to spend so much. He is doing his first year engineering at a private college. At his house, i.e. at my uncles they spend money like water in Chennai. He is not allowed to see movies usually. With both parents working and loans to be paid they have made their children realize the importance of spending money. So when Shankar asked me the question it didn’t surprise me but I was happy he asked me. His parents want him to do well in life and they have instilled the values they believe would take him to places.

For long time I have been thinking what is so different in the middle class families and the values attached to them. I can be proud of so many things that my parents did to me and my brother. We would have been totally different from what we are if weren’t from a middle class family. My parents valued giving us good education and they really believed good education was the only way for climbing up the economic ladder. The parents from middle class I believe have dreams for their children, those dreams they couldn’t realize in their life.
I don’t remember a single parents teachers meet not attended by my Appa(father). He made a point to be there when my results for my SSLC(X std) and my HSC (XII std) came out. I was surprised on both the occasions as I left for the school for seeing the results, he came following me to school without giving me any added pressure of his anxiety over my results !!! I have always found my father as someone to be followed for things he believed. His dedication amazed me when it came to help people. He would go out of his way helping out people. I have seen on so many occasions like working for the All India union for engineering technicians at Indian airlines, or for welfare societies for Ex servicemen. Among his friends he would be someone to be consulted on important decisions and disputes. He valued his friends. After a certain age he treated my brother and me as equals. All he would do is suggest things but never would interfere. When I was a kid he maintained a strict image of his but he was as sweet as anyone could be.

My Amma(mother) was different but she stood for what she believed. One thing that really amazed me was when my father was suffering from cancer and counting his last days. I never believed Amma was so strong to digest what was happening to Appa. She was mature in handling the situation. I can remember a lot of instances when she would correct me for those things that she thought was wrong. I remember once when I was about 10 she has asked me to buy some beetle leaf for some guest at home. The shopkeeper gave me just 4 leaves for 25 paisa. And I brought them home after eating the stalk of the leaves. I gave Amma those leaves and she couldn’t control her temper. She wasn’t angry because I ate those beetle leaves stalks but that I was ignorant of how much those 25 paisa was worthy of. So she took me to the shop and argued with the shopkeeper and got a dozen more leaves. She taught me to value each penny that day.

I did my primary schooling at Kendriya Vidyalaya Meenambackkam. The school fees then was a meager Rs 5/- per month compared to a few thousand today. We had to pay our fees every three months and I lost Rs 15, the fees for three months once. I came back home fearing the scolding from amma and appa. Nothing of that sort happened. All that they did was to make me realize was what I did was of carelessness and made sure I wouldn’t do it again.
In those days while my brother and I were at school there were very few occasions when all four of us(me, my brother amma and appa) would go out. Unlike nowadays when families have a weekly outing we would go out to shop for either pongal or diwali. And on every single outing we would see our parents arguing. It is just like a project manager and the financial controller arguing over a project. The former being my Appa and the latter my Amma.
I still argue with my amma like my father would do when she goes to buy some vegetables. She would be happy to leave the shop only when she is given those free coriander and curry leaves. ha ha ha !! she still does !

Times have really changed. You can hardly find a school student without a cell phone. Even a couple of years ago when I was at college their were just one or two cell phones in my whole batch of 500 students. There are more families in India which would be in the upper middle class segment with both parents working in the booming IT industry. Children are even given credit cards for their expense. But even with all these I think the school children now aren’t as independent as we were. They leave their home to board a school bus that takes them to school and back. I remember those days when I would take the train to school. The rush hours when each of the bogie would be full, the train strikes, a ticket collector in the platform with a invalid ticket in hand were situations I had to handle when I was just entering my teens.

A few days back my friend from school who had a very early marriage called me. He told me his wife delivered a baby girl and he needs to name her starting with A,C or L. I wanted to help and did my bit in searching the internet for good meaningful names. I was so amazed to see so many websites which would give all kinds of names – mythological names, names of god and goddesses, names in Sanskrit with their meaning, Hindu names, Muslim names and what not. Parenting starts from the day the child is born. Naming a child becomes so important as it sets the identity of the child for rest of the life.

My amma even now when I am 24 doesn’t take anything granted for me. She does her bit in everything concerned with me. Be it choosing cloths for me, the food I eat or things I want to do in life. She is concerned even if I skip a glass of milk. Some times I tell her to leave it to me to look after myself but I know she never can ignore anything that I to do with her children.

I now know Parenting is not easy at all. Children at any age are a challenge to handle !! aren’t they- babies are a challenge, you never know what they want from you. A small kid is a difficult child because he wants everything that he sees. A teen can really get very inquisitive and pose the most difficult questions. A adolescent child and a young adult are difficult as well.

Parenting is a responsibility, a challenge which starts with the child’s birth and can never end.

My Anna (brother) and Anni ( bhabhi-sister in law) would be soon parents. Good luck to them.
Parenting ! Phew!

lessons from 4 years of engineering

I think there were some important phases in college that brought all the important changes in my attitude.

I really liked the culture in REC Trichy and especially ECE. The college would offer with a lot of opportunities when one could interact with a lot of people. One would get to know a lot of seniors and juniors of the branch. Once you get to the final year you would have people from two junior batch asking you advice, something you would be ready to give free of cost. A lot of people would open up in the last two years of graduation. You would never know with the first look that you could be in touch with them for the years to come. Touring other colleges with the Cricket and volleyball teams for different matches and with the music troupe would give me additional time and opportunity to know different people.

I remember the first few weeks in college. Some of my batch mates would do complex integration without pen and paper; some would talk their way to glory about their national level prizes and accolades. There were some who would know alteast half a dozen languages and one in my neighboring room started his Mirudangam class when he was 3 years old. I did try my hand with violin but discontinued. I attended competitions but not of the magnitude I could really boast about. There were people who were so talented but just simple as they can get. There was one who had is admission in Princeton University after his SAT examination. I was so ignorant that I didn’t even know there was an exam called SAT. There was also a son of a CEO of a big company in our batch. . I found myself suddenly in this different league of people. I was from the school where without much competition I was in the top three of the class. Suddenly I was with people who would be state toppers.

I just managed to be with all these amazing people and started to see a different perspective of life altogether. Those were the days when I would ponder upon how to stay in the crowd and be noticed. The good thing in me was I never saw myself lost in this talented crowd even if that meant not being noticed..
I enjoyed life but I did complain. Not being noticed did make me crib at times. I wrote a letter to my brother. I showed my frustration –I asked him why he couldn`t guide me? Why he didn’t see me admitted in a better school so that I would have exposed to a lot more things than just books? –Just an act of desperation that I couldn`t do that someone else would do.
One way I realized to keep myself out this desperation was keeping myself busy in things that I enjoyed the most. I did what I knew best. Played cricket, made friends and did a bit of 11th hour study. I enjoyed life.

After that letter to my brother, sometime later I realized that there were others who even didn’t have all that I had during my schooling. I have to mention here about one such guy who came from a Tamil medium school. His younger brother worked as a tailor in Chennai while he came for his higher graduation. From the first day in college he would never be shy to try talking in Hindi and English, even if it was wrong. People appreciated his efforts and he grew in confidence. There were others who had the fire in their belly to do well even if they were less talented. Important difference between me and them was that they were hardworking !!!
I think noticing all these real people and their goodness have made me a different person. There are a lot of people from college I admire for different reason. A lot are my thick friends now. Really people are assets as they rightly call and I have been blessed to find a quiet a lot of good people.

I don’t know what I learnt from the engineering classes. But the difference has been the people I met. I difference has been staying away from home and parents. The difference has been realizing different emotions and relationships in the 4 years. I would certainly recommend someone to have hostel life as a student. It’s just a wonderful, enjoyable learning experience.

I think in the next blog I have to mention different things I enjoyed doing- a little about things I did with my department, the college cricket and volleyball team and the music troupe.

Am I a engineer now?

It was during my holidays after my Matriculation examination at my Uncles house in Pollachi. Me and priya, my cousin were talking about what we ought to do after 10th. We both had written our exams and were relieved for the next two and half months.
My brother was already a engineer and had left for his MS that year. Priya`s brother was preparing to become one. We were left with limited choice from our parents- to become a engineer or a doctor. Thank god there was not a charted accountant in the family.

I said " I have done really well in Biology,might even score the full marks. I would become a doctor" . Those were the times when Imran Khan was famous for opening his cancer institute in Pakistan. He was not my idol but..... I had heard so much of this killer disease that I wanted to be a doctor ......a cancer specialist. I had heard from mother that Thatha(my grandfather) had died of cancer. My mother still does`nt know if it was cancer. Then there were no scanning machine or other techniques to diagonise cancer.

This was in 1996-summer holidays. I was thinking of being a cancer specialist. Little did i then know that I would see the disease consume my father`s healthy body after few years.

After doing all the thinking and boosted by a really awesome score in my matriculation examination I took Maths,physics,chemistry and Biology. I choose Biology for my big dream and maths for my brother. Moreover people said it would give me more choice - incase i fail in one i would have another for backup. I was thinking of failure even before stepping into the course.

My brother had his dreams - of joining IIT, he really tried hard but did`nt make it. He made to a lot of other good institutes. He made me enroll with Brilliant tutorials which my father could`nt afford for my brother,unlucky raju !! My brother wanted Me to go to IIT atleast. Llittle did he know that i was`nt half as hardworking as he was.

I was going to the classes and writing tests till my 11th. Then other activities in school took over and Rs 4320/- spent on brilliant tutorials my IIT JEE coaching went in drain.
As I came close to the final practice tests I found that i couldn`t put those hours of hard work reading Biology. Not that i did n`t like the subject. Biology as a subject still fascinates me but I knew i was not made for becoming a doctor. The profession needs so much of hardwork and dedication like none other profession. Now i knew how important it was for me to choose both Biology and Maths. And for someone like me who has never been sure of what I did the choice was a really sensible thing to do.

I just started concentrating on the three subjects that would finally get me the admission into a good engineering college(REC Trichy). My brother was really surprised with the result. Even now three years after college he asks me how i managed those marks.

I was setting myself for a career in medicine and I landed in a engineering college. 4 years of REC was the best thing to happen. Not because I came out with flying colours studying engineering but the time spent I feel was the best I had. I think not only me but many in my batch would endorse those 4 years to be the best. I had really nice people all along those years in trichy.

all i am now is because of the 4 years of college and the experience that followed. so has engineering made me think differently ? difficult question to answer !!! I still don`t know if i was suited for engineering...being a 2002 passout still i can`t answer how good i am at engineering.
.... i am really searching for the career that I would love and cherish doing...

nature does conspire

A week ago Abisar gupta had come home...He is a freind from college days. We and few others in college would talk about different issues that bothered us. This time it was`nt different, we were talking of the recent developements in politics and politics in crickets on which a lot of people while away their time.

As we talked he came up with something he read " If you know your destiny, Nature will conspire you to your destiny "
...........the issue is does anyone know what his or her destiny is?

All that we do is work for a short term goal, reach it and then take up another travel to reach another goal. Most of the time it has been goals set by others. Like our parents in school setting goals( a admission in a engg or medical college) for us to reach, or in college to get placed in XYZ company because our senior told that was the best the engineering branch could offer.

Have we ever thought of making our destiny our destination ?

Actually we never know what our detiny or life objective is. Are these words little big to be even written about. Still in our twenties, most of us ridicule someone who talks of such things. To write something like this in my second day I felt shy.I thought whether I should ever write something like this. But there were more reasons for me to be shy. I have had a lot of these objectives in mind, things I had set to do in future. But have`nt done much to move forward towards those dreams. Should I, who has achieved far less than the targeted, talk about my life objective so that atleast there are people to question incase I even fail to try.

Anyone from my college would remember this quote" Dare to dream " . It was engraved in our computer centre. I have been doing this all my life-dreaming. No one ever said what should be the next step. How should i be giving form to my dreams ? I can now follow it up with another question from what Abhisar said. How does nature conspire to the destiny ?
Does nature teach us through experience of what to do and what not to do so that we reach our detiny? Yes Experience..... offering oppurtunities. Nature offers oppurtunities. Once we know our destiny we are certain to recongnise the oppurtunity we come across. And once we cash in on our oppurtunity we should be on the right course towards our destiny crossing milestones with the passing days.

One such oppurtunity I came across recently was getting associated with SUYAM. I strongly believe this one step should take me more a mile in coming days.

a trial run for today

i have had thoughts to tell people but only have been able to put it discreetly across to friends...
having seen so many people bloggin the space i thought i should also join the herd...
but being seen in the herd - i have`nt done that in my life so far.

I have one full month to spend before i join BIM. I still have not kept my promise with SUYAM the institution that i work for...got some work still pending for them.

all i hope is to read more, write more and work more.